we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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