Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
