This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
