do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
