Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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