I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
