**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
