i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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