I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
