i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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