There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
