So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
