i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
