Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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