I like to think it a success when the cops are called
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
