Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
