You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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