We're like a lot better than the average bears
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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