it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
