Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
