just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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