I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
