margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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