i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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