And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
