So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
