It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
