The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Watching her eat just hurts me
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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