She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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