Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
