dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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