the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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