What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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