she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
