I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
