lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
