I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
