Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
