It's Friday. Sex?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
