oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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