I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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