i was born a porn star she said
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize