i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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