fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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