I just saw a hot homeless man
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
