Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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