they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
