i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
