You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
