he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
