I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
