More tranny stories later!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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