evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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