How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
