so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
