think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
