the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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