he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
