my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
