I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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