btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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