I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
