i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
