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I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She is in my trunk
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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