I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
