did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
